I'm in a New York state of mind

Tomorrow marks the final day of my four-year stint as a New York City resident. It's one of the most bittersweet things I've ever experienced. A part of me still can't believe I ever moved here in the first place. I never imagined myself living here, even when I was preparing for a career in theatre. I assumed I'd end up at a regional theatre or maybe a University. Turns out I did things backwards--regionals and teaching first, big bad city second. The first time I visited the city, back in 2001 for my graduate class showcase, I knew it had an energy like nothing I'd ever experienced before. The more I visited, the more I wanted and needed to be a part of that energy. Part of move wanted to see if I could keep up. Another part of me knew I could. To say NYC welcomed me with opened arms is the understatement of the century. Things happened fast once I got here and now, looking back, it all seems like yesterday.

My first night as a New Yorker was spent at Meredith's Brooklyn Heights apartment. I met up with her at the Biltmore Theatre as soon as I got off the bus and we went out for Mexican food. It POURED rain and there were no cabs to be gotten, so we took the subway. My first subway ride as a resident. Clutching my map. Drenched. Tugging at my suitcase. Terrified. Today I took my last subway ride as a New Yorker with my four month old son riding happily on my front in his Baby Bjorn. It was a much less eventful ride--we went to the mall to turn in our cable box. I didn't even look to see which train we were getting on because I knew I could get us home no matter which line we took. That ride made me think about who I was when I got here versus who I am now. While I like both of those versions of me, I cannot imagine myself now without the experience of living here. I'm thrilled to be going back to a small southern town, but I'm even more thrilled that I have had the stamina, drive, temporary insanity (???!!!) and guts to tough this place out for this long. The experiences Marcus and I have had here, both together and separate, will certainly play a part in how we raise Dean. If he ever decides to do something we think is just a little crazy, all we have to do is remind ourselves how many months we spent in this tiny one-room apartment and things should fall into perspective pretty quickly.

Since I've been here, I've made some amazing friends and built on some existing friendships. To my friends here who have become my New York family, thank you for your time, energy, love and support. I will miss you terribly. When I told my college chum Qui that we were leaving NY, we both agreed that even though we don't see each other that often, it's nice to know we live in the same city. There's something comforting in the knowledge that, even in the city of great anonymity, you can still run into someone you know just about anywhere. I have loved our coffee dates, our explorations and exploits, our touristy activities, our long talks. I look forward to my first visit back to see what wonderful things you've all been up to and to have you show me all the fun new things the city has to offer.

This huge wave of nostalgia hit me on Sunday as we drove back in from DC. I saw the skyline and realized that would be the last time I entered NYC as a resident. Don't get me wrong--I'm thrilled about our move. Marcus and I have known forever that we wanted to get back to the south some day. Ever since we found out we had a bambino on the way, the clock has been ticking. This job came up at the perfect time and we are so excited about building a life in Alabama. But we've been so focused on getting out that we haven't really taken much time to remember the great things about living in NYC. Italian delis and bakeries, bagels, hot dog vendors (oh, how I love thee!), not being able to spit without hitting a Starbuck's, every kind of food you could ever wish for, Broadway at your doorstep, Christmas in Rockefeller Center, Central Park, Union Square on Sunday mornings, the damp smell of the subway, and the little jolt your heart feels every time you look over at that Manhattan skyline. These are just a few of the amazing things I am so happy to have in my memory bank now. Not to mention, since I've been here, I have:
*Worked on 2 Broadway shows (still unbelievable)
*Gotten engaged AND married
*Figured out the subway system (no small feat)
*Ridden said subway system while hugely pregnant
*Had a baby (the best part of it all!)
Plus a million little things that will now be a part of the tapestry of me forever. (Did I just say "the tapestry of me?" Jeez...)

I have no idea how to end this post except to say I have taken my bite out of the big apple and I'm proud to have been a part of the city that never sleeps. But it's time to be a resident southerner again.

Why?

*Disclaimer: This is about American Idol.
*Disclaimer 2: "WHY?" Should be pronounced like Matthew McConaughey says it in "Contact."

1. Why is Jason Castro (dubbed "Goose Doo Doo Head" by my husband) still around? EVERYTHING sounds the same!

2. Why don't they take away whatever Paula is apparently drinking/snorting/swallowing/sniffing before the show!?!? She thought she'd heard Goose Doo Doo Head sing 2 songs when everyone had only done their first songs. She seems more drunk every week. Lay off the Liquid Paper fumes, Paula.

3. Why did Brooke write lyrics on her hand if SHE IS PLAYING THE PIANO??????? Go home, Brooke, go home.

4. Why were there not more shots of the violinist wearing sunglasses? She was awesome. Especially since she also seems to be wearing biker shorts.

5. Why is David Archuletta dressed like he's in the Jailhouse Rock video? And why does everything he sings lately sound like "Up With People?" His version of "Coming to America" sounded like show choir. Why are the judges wearing blinders where he's concerned? (I do like the kid, but I don't think he's always perfect...but he is probably going to win.)

6. Why has Syesha stopped wearing shoes? Don't wear fancy dresses if you're not gonna wear shoes.

7. Why don't they just send everyone home and let the Davids battle it out? I'm officially for David Cook, by the way. I voted for him 24 times. He is my American Idol boyfriend. (not to be confused with my Show Boyfriend, Chris Sarandon, my Music Boyfriend, Bono, or my husband, Marcus.)

Look what we got

We researched. We looked. We narrowed it down. We offered. They countered.
We accepted.
Check out our new pad. :)

And now for something completely different!

Marcus and I have done a lot of things together. We've visited casinos (what does it say about me that I mentioned that first?), gone to college and graduate school, worked in West Virginia, lived in the city that never sleeps, gotten married, honeymooned in the Florida Keys, made a little person, cooked tacos, and lots of other cool things. But we've never bought a house before. And in case you couldn't tell, we're freaked out.

It's 11:24 on Thursday evening. At 4 in the morning, the Marjen household will pack up our Dodge car and head out for the Great Alabama House Hunt of 2008. Lord help us. We have about a zillion houses to look at and only 5 days in which to see them all with Phil, our realtor. Fortunately, my parents will be joining us on Thursday evening. Our brains should be sufficiently fried by then and I, for one, will be good and ready for a hug from my Mommy and Daddy. My dad, who gets a kick out of watching me handle stressful situations, should be in for a real treat.

I'm taking the computer with me in hopes of posting daily updates. Hopefully our hotel will have internet access. Be sure to check back to laugh at, uh I mean read about our adventures!

How NOT to lose the baby weight

Eat the following BEFORE NOON:

1 whole wheat bagel with low-fat cream cheese (Ok, so that's not too bad)
1 cup coffee with equal (again, not bad)
10 blue corn chips with roasted garlic hummus (uh, oh)
1 can of Cherry Coke. Full calorie. You know, because the artificial sweeteners in Diet Coke are bad for the baby. The baby who's been out of my body for 3 1/2 months. Yeah.
3 potato pancakes with fat-free sour cream (My mother is now opening another window so she can write me an email telling me to watch my salt.)

I was going to have a hamburger and fries, but realized I used the hamburger meat to make spaghetti sauce last week. I am very forgetful about meat these days. I preheated the oven Monday night to make chicken only to look in our fridge and freezer and realize I had not bought chicken. Nice.

Anyway, this weight was much cuter when it was all in my belly in the form of a cute baby-to-be. (see photo) And I'm going to Alabama next week where I will CERTAINLY eat BBQ. Probably twice. Oh, well.

If you cut yourself, I'm totally there for you.

I had grand plans today of doing laundry, going to Hallmark to purchase cards for our friends and family with late-April birthdays, strolling through the 'hood with Dean, hitting the grocery store to try and get inspired about dinner. This was all before Dean decided that all he wanted to do today was nap. All. Day. He did stay awake long enough to dribble formula all over himself and me, which prompted me to give him a bath, which prompted him to pass out. Anyway, since I have some free time, I decided to clean out the remaining drawers in my dresser, clean out some old purses and make a final bag for Goodwill. That didn't take as long as I thought, so I decided to tackle the cabinet under the bathroom sink. Now I admit to being a bit of a hoarder when it comes to bathroom things. I love lotion, body wash, sample-sizes, all such as that. But y'all. Even I have to admit that my findings were a little out of control. Let's inventory, shall we?

I found:

*Enough band-aids to stop the world from bleeding. Forever. Seriously, there are like 20 boxes under there. Fortunately, I can use them to re-stock my stage management kit.

*4 bottles of Advil liqui-gels. Before I got pregnant and was then diagnosed with PKD, this was my pain reliever of choice. Now I'm Tylenol all the way. But Marcus keeps telling me we are out of Advil, so I keep buying it. And now we have 4 bottles. I condensed them down to 2.

*A bottle of body splash I received as a gift in 2001. I know.

*Approximately 500 of those neat little makeup bags Clinique gives you as a free gift when you buy $21.50 worth of stuff. My mom always sends me hers. Did I mention how cool my mom is? They are filled with trial-sized goodies, and we all know how Jen looooooves trial-sized things! I haven't had to buy mascara in 3 years.

*5 bottles of various prenatal vitamins (none of which I could keep in my stomach for more than 20 minutes) and a bottle of Centrum Silver, which eventually became my prenatal vitamin of choice.

*A bottle of M, Mariah Carey's perfume. I got it when I was on The View.

*2 pairs of those mesh panties they put on you in the hospital after your c-section. Now I don't remember a lot about the few days following Dean's birth (thank you, Percocet), but I do remember packing these in my bag to bring home, along with a package of the enormous sanitary napkins they give you in the hospital. I have no idea when or where I thought I would need to wear mesh panties, but I'll be danged if I wasn't leaving with mine! Maybe I'll put them in my stage management kit.

*Hundreds of Kotex. Seriously. Hundreds. And I just bought a new pack last week. So hundreds and 24.

*Venus razor blades!!!!! I'm actually really excited about these because they are expensive!

*3 trial-sized cans of Edge shave gel. These belong to my husband. One of my pet-peeves about Marcus is his complete inability to prioritize what needs to go in his makeup kit when we travel. (I know it's an "overnight kit" because he's a guy, but I call it his makeup kit. Because it irks him. And that makes me giggle.) He NEVER brings shaving cream. He ALWAYS borrows a full-sized can from his dad when we visit, then steals it. Therefore, we also have 6, count em, 6 full-sized cans in our 1/2 squre foot bathroom. Gr.

*17 small bottles of hand lotion. This is because Marcus and I both had terribly dry skin in the days after Dean's birth, probably because of all the Purell, baby wipes and hand soap we used during diaper duty. I have now distributed our favorites among my purse, his makeup bag (hahahaha), my makeup bag, my stage management kit (which is getting SO totally stocked!) and our home. I now feel that I must tell you about Glysomed, the best hand lotion in the world. Unfortunately, it kind of smells like old ladies at church (slightly rosy). The good news is that it works so well, you just don't care!

And now, a free moving tip from Jen:
When purging your bathroom cabinet, be careful not to pour out too many different scents of lotion, perfume and body spray on the same day. Spread it out or else you, too, will end up smelling like a mix of Clinique Happy Jasmine Ylang Ylang White Tea Lemon Verbena Cucumber Melon Baby Powder. Mmm Mmm.

Let's hope Jessie Spano doesn't show up in CHICAGO

I just read on playbill.com that Mario Lopez, aka A.C. Slater from Saved By The Bell, is about to make his Broadway debut in A CHORUS LINE. Now, I realize the man can dance. I mean, who can forget him ripping off his clothes in "The Max" to win Jessie's heart with some sassy pique turns? But this is part of an ongoing trend on Broadway where, let's call them "unconventional" actors end up in shows. CABARET a few years ago was the perfect example. Everyone from Brooke Shields to Molly Ringwald to Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie!) was in it. Seriously. Marcus and I are about the only people in NYC who did not grace the stage as Sally Bowles and the Emcee. A stage manager friend of mine worked on that show and said they had a piece of paper in their office where people would write down who should play the roles next. Most of them were jokes, but a couple of times, folks from that piece of paper ended up in the show. I certainly understand the need for a "big" name on the marquis. That certainly sells tickets and often brings in a more diverse audience than you might get with theatre-only actors whose names are not as recognizable. I'm not saying these folks are not talented, I'm just saying that if my years of working in the NYC theatre scene and the Broadway community have taught me anything it's that there's an unbelievable amount of untapped talent in this city. I'd like to see an unknown actor (or even a lesser-known theatre actor) get a role over a "big name" any day. This, friends, is why Jen usually works for not-for-profit companies and is also why she will never, ever be a theatre producer in NYC. (Well, that and she's broke.)

So what's your nightmare casting for Broadway? Mickey Rooney as Annie? The guy who played Squiggie as the Phantom? Don't just limit yourselves to Saved By The Bell characters! :)

FINALLY!

Oh, spring has come at last to NYC! (of course the forecast says it's going to rain all weekend, but give me my moment, won't you?) I love spring, always have. It rejuvenates my mind and body and brings back fantastic memories of springs-gone-by. Gone are the grey, dreary days of winter, melted is the snow, no more do I have to wear boots and a coat. My body, by the way, rejects coats, having grown up in the south and never having needed a real coat before I moved to Ithaca, New York at the tender age of 24. Talk about one extreme to another! Mr. Dean and I celebrated the gorgeous weather by going into Manhattan to have lunch with Kitty and Vikram in Bryant Park. It was packed, others obviously as excited as we were about the sunshine and high-60s temperature. Dean was his usual charming self, flirting with passers-by and girl babies.

Did you notice I put a link in that last paragraph? You can click it and learn all about Ithaca! Yes, it took me this long to figure out how to do that on my blog. I am intimidated by the little buttons.

Before I was a mommy, today would have prompted me to run to the nearest nail salon for a pedicure to ready my tootsies for sandal season. Now, however, I don't think I should force my 13 week old (Oh my gosh, he's 13 wks. old!) to sit in a tiny space getting high on acetone fumes while Mommy gets her toes painted bright pink. (shameless plug for OPI Japanese Rose Garden --greatest bright pink toe color ever! Again with the links--I'm outta control!) Rather than my inaugural pedicure to welcome springtime, today I opted to shave my legs while Dean took a nap, something I'm sure my husband will appreciate. (Who am I kidding? He probably won't even notice!)

So tell me, friends, how do you ring in springtime? Pedicures? Ice cream from the truck? Inquiring minds want to know.

Fun with spit rags...Part Deux!

This will never not be funny.

Next thing you know he'll want the car keys

Dean did a very un-Dean-like thing a little while ago. We had been on a very long, relaxing walk to drop off some old clothes at the Salvation Army and enjoy the sunshine, then we came home for a story book and a bottle. I could tell he was getting sleepy by his new "I'm sleepy" move, which is holding the sides of his head with his hands. (most adorable thing ever, by the way) After about 3 minutes, he started jerking his arms, which means crying is inevitable. Usually that means he wants to be cuddled or needs his pacifier. Today, though, none of this would do. I could tell he was uncomfortable and getting frustrated, so I decided to try his swing to see if maybe a slight change of scenery would help. He stopped crying the second I strapped him in. This event, of course, nearly reduced me to a blubbering puddle, because all I could think was "OH MY GOD, MY BABY BOY IS GROWING UP AND DOESN'T NEED ME AND LOOK WHAT A BIG BOY HE LOOKS LIKE IN HIS SHORT-SLEEVED ONESIE AND PANTS!" He promptly went to sleep holding the sides of his head, as if to shut out my crazed inner-monologue.

Deano going to sleep is usually quite a blessing in the middle of the day. It allows me to get many a chore done that I just can't be bothered with when he's awake needing a song or a story or just a good dose of Mommy humor. (who knew me sticking my tongue out was so funny?) His new little bout of independence prompted a trip down memory lane.
I remember when:
*A shower was a daily occurrance that, when lasting more than five minutes, did not feel like someone rewarded you with a trip to the spa.
*I wore makeup.
*My jeans zipped and buttoned. (yes I"m still wearing maternity jeans. They are comfy.
9 months on, 9 months off. Give me a break.)
*I could wash dishes any time of day.
*I could eat whenever I got hungry.
*I could drink coffee first thing in the morning without having to worry about dripping it on someone's head while he nursed.
*I worked outside my home and often enjoyed it.
*A simple outing did not involve a stroller with a windscreen, a diaper bag or a baby bjorn.

Of course, all this was before the moment in the picture to your right happened and I fell hopelessly in love with the sweetest little 6 pound guy in the world. I wouldn't go back for all the tea in China.

PS: As I was about to hit "Post," guess who woke up needing to be held and sung back to sleep? Guess he still needs his mommy after all. <3

You know you're sleep-deprived when....

You go to heat up your leftover Chinese food and instead of putting it in the microwave, you put it in the fridge.

Then you catch yourself, giggle, put it in the microwave and fix yourself a drink. The microwave dings, your food is ready....and you open the fridge to get it out.

When Dean wears his spit rag on his head he looks like the flying nun

It's fun to do goofy things to your baby. :)

Today, Mr. Dean got to meet Meredith and Dave who are in from Alabama! Meredith and I met in 1999 when I was a grad student and she was a senior at Univ. of Alabama. We both frequented the computer lab at the same time each day and became instant friends. They live about two hours from Montevallo, so we'll be seeing a lot more of them very soon! Dave says he doesn't look at cameras any more, hence the, um, we'll call it "artistic" shot of him to your left. We had a great visit with them at their hotel today. Meredith and I confided in each other about our addiction to blogs and Dave got all excited that he and Marcus play the same online game. We started planning a trip to the beach for after we move. It's going to be great having them play a bigger part in our lives now. (Plus if they have a baybay, he/she and Dean can hang out all the time!!!)

I am currently watching The Jacksons: An American Dream on VH1. It's one of those horrible rockumentaries they made in the early 90s. I can't not watch it when it comes on tv. It's like a horrible addiction. The best part is when Joseph goes ballistic, yelling "Who left the towel in the swimmin' pool??????" Oh, good times.

Poor, poor Marcus has a cold. You should know that Marcus does not do well on drugs of any kind. Even too much Advil makes him kind of goofy. If he takes a Benadryl, he's out for days. So the fact that he's been taking DayQuil every four hours for the past two days has been a constant source of amusement and entertainment for me. Yesterday I tripped over our living room rug, which I do a lot, but this time I was able to convince him that he'd imagined the whole thing. HAHA!

Now if you'll pardon me, little Michael is about to sing "I Got The Feelin'" and I think Marcus is going to sing along.

Now that the beans are spilled...

I can tell you what life in our house has been like over the past few weeks!

*We watch HGTV religiously, hoping to find inspiration for our future house in every episode of Design on a Dime, Curb Appeal and Designed to Sell. Moving from a teeeeeeeeny NYC apartment to a full-sized house with actual square footage and a kitchen we can both stand in at the same time will be quite the adjustment for us!

*I daydream about things like dishwashers and laundry rooms. As I've said before, the dish fairy must not be able to find our house, because MAN do those things pile up fast in that sink! (and since we can't fit in the kitchen together, I end up washing them all by my lonesome most of the time. Poor Jen.) I am living for the day when I don't have to bundle up myself and my baby and pull out the granny cart to tote the laundry bag, detergent, fabric softener and quarters across the street to the laundromat. Oh, the domestic bliss that shall ensue when I have modern appliances at my disposal!

*We applied (and were approved for) a mortgage loan. That has to be the most terrifying thing we have ever done as a couple, and that's saying something, considering one of us had a baby cut out of her 3 months ago! The night before sending in the final packet of paperwork, we sat on our Ikea sofa holding our entire financial history in our hands. There were bank statements, pay stubs, tax returns, credit reports...and if you know us, you know that money stresses Marcus out and math stresses me out. Needless to say, we were a mess. But it all worked out and the kind people at our credit union are giving us what seems like an ungodly amount of money to buy a home. We keep reminding ourselves that we don't have to spend every dime of what they've approved us for.

*I continue to purge drawers. This is happening for 2 reasons.
1. We're moving, so I need to get rid of as much stuff as possible.
2. I'm coming to terms with what I will and will not ever fit into again. Size 4 pants? Who am I kidding. Size 6 skirt? Well, maybe, considering it has an elastic waistband.

*We have to start the process of saying goodbye to NYC. That means working in time to see as many friends as possible and trying like crazy to blow through our list of "Must Do's" while we're still here. We have not been to the Cloisters. We haven't been to the Statue of Liberty. (I'm kind of ok with that one, since I would probably vomit on the boat you have to take to get there.) There is still some time to do some of these things, but others may have to wait until we come back to visit. Man, that'll be weird.

The hardest part of this move is the fact that it's a two-parter. We go to WV in May, and that's when we're giving up our NY apartment. All our stuff (except what we need for the summer) is living in Marcus's parents' basement until we are ready to go to Montevallo in August. It's going to be interesting, kids. If anyone has any nuggets of wisdom or would just like to make fun of us a little for the insane process we are about to enter into, please feel free to do so in the form of comments. :)

Mama's got a brand new blog!

Here it is folks, what we've all been waiting for...the unveiling of Jen's new and improved blog!!! (C'mon, you know you wanna leave a comment!!) I've been wanting to go in a different direction for a while, especially since Marcus neither posts on nor reads our "family" blog. I've been trying to figure out the perfect, clever name, which wasn't happening. (Thanks to Mom, though, for suggesting "Inside Jen's Brain." At least we got a good laugh out of it, right?) Anyway, today I was inspired by myself. :) Those of you who know me personally, what's the first thing I say upon entering a room? "Hey y'all." So there we go. Up here in NYC, my southernness has set me apart, made me somewhat interesting and always fun to mock. But now, this greeting is going to become a part of everyday life again, something my son will say, something people will say back to us. Because, everybody, we are moving back home. It's true. Marcus has accepted a position at the University of Montevallo in Alabama (just south of Birmingham) and we will relocate there permanently in August, after our summer gig in WV is over. That means when we leave NYC in May, we're not coming back as residents.

We have mixed emotions as we prepare to leave the Big Apple. Before moving here, I don't think either of us ever pictured ourselves living in this city. I expected to spend my life and career at universities and regional theatres. But one thing led to another and this is where we landed. The opportunities we've had here have been incredible. I realized dreams I never knew I had and made them come true. I never in a million years dreamed I'd work on Broadway, yet I've done two shows there now. Marucs never saw himself as the coordinator of a theatre department, yet that's exactly what he's been doing the last couple of years. We got engagaed in New York, lived together as a married couple here, had our baby here. It will always hold a very special place in our hearts, but it's time to move. Anyone who knows us will not be surprised by this news. We have always known we'd leave NY some day and since finding out Dean was on the way, the clock has been ticking. Neither of us wants to raise kids here. It's not that it's an awful place for children (though we would have to declare bankruptcy if we wanted to send Deano to private school), it's just not what we know. We both grew up with backyards in subdivisions where you could ride your bike, where you ate lunch at whomever's house you were at around lunchtime, where you didn't have to take the subway everywhere. Of course the world has changed since the 70's (haha, Marcus is old!) and 80's when we were kids, but we know what kind of life we want to provide for our family and a childhood in NYC is not it.

We are both incredibly proud to have called ourselves New Yorkers for the past few years. I for one am prouder than proud to have been able to make it here. I've never missed a rent payment. I haven't had to hock any family heirlooms at the pawn shop to make ends meet. I've worked in my field since I walked into town, only spending a day or two temping (Which sucked my soul out through my ear, by the way). These are big accomplishments and have been so important in making me the person I am today, a person I'm proud of, a person who can give my son better experiences and understanding of the world because of what I've been through.

I can't wait to get to Montevallo. We go down next month to look at houses for purchase (!!!!!), so look for upcoming blogs on the terror that is applying for a mortgage. Everyone we've told has asked "But what are you going to do down there???" I'm going to raise my son and take care of my husband and our house. And visit my family more often (they're only 3 hours away in Oxford, MS!!) And drink coffee. And probably find a way to spend some time working in the theatre department with Marcus. I will certainly find something to occupy myself, even if it's just sipping sweet tea and soaking up the warm weather. Now everyone go play "Sweet Home Alabama" and think of me. :)

I was gonna write something deep, but here are some pics instead

Yeah, I had lofty expectations for today's blog, but that was before Dean cried on and off all day, I decided to cook spaghetti sauce from scratch, and I got a raging headache. The blog I've been composing in my head all day is important, so I want to give myself time to write it well, but today it ain't happening. So here are some pictures from Dean's first "photo shoot" this weekend. We took him to Kiddie Kandids at Babies R Us. (It's a pet peeve of mine when words that should be spelled with a C are spelled with a K, by the way, and this almost caused me not to go there. Seriously.) The photographer kind of rocked, as you can see by the adorable poses she was able to pull off with our 12 week old. Guess which one's my favorite... :)